More to come...

Well, it is getting late and I should go to sleep so I have energy to teach tomorrow.  There is still more I want to catch you all up on (including some pictures of the artwork my students have been doing!) but it will have to wait a little bit longer.  Stay tuned for more :)

Satan's Attack Plan One Thousand and Ten

January 27, 2013

It seems that every time I turn around Satan has another way to attack me; another way to sneak under my skin and slip in the lies that sound so much like truth.  He whispers, “You are not a good art teacher.  You don’t know what you’re doing.  You’re an impostor, a fake.   How could you think you could handle this job?”  I finally find confidence in my job and he continues, “You are all alone.  You have no friends.  No one cares about you.  Your friends back home have moved on and don’t need you, and no one here loves you either.” And then I am reassured by a Skype call with a friend from home and a heart to heart with another teacher here, affirming she is a true friend.  And so he digs in deeper.  “You are not a good Christian.  You are not doing enough.  You are not making an impact; God is not pleased with the little you have accomplished this year.  Aren't you supposed to be saving souls?  Well where are they?  Maybe you should try a little harder…”  And then I’m reminded that God does not desire my accomplishments and achievements.  He has never loved me for what I have done, but for who I am.  That is enough.  And so he tries again: “You are always on the outside of social circles.  You never know the inside scoop.  You are always the last one to find out news, even when it concerns you.  You don’t fit in here.” And he convinces me to pity myself and withdraw.  He starts to win when I shut myself off to others and get bitter.  He starts to win when I wonder if I’m really enough.  And then he piles on top other worries and fears.  “What will next year bring?  You will be all alone.  It will be just as difficult as this year.  What if you get a roommate you don’t like?  How are you going to come up with more lessons?  What if you don’t make new friends?  Be. Very. Afraid.”  No.  Here it stops.  I will not believe your lies.  I know they hold no truth.  I will trust in you, Jesus.  I will trust in you…

The Lord’s my Shepherd, I’ll not want.  He makes me lie in pastures green.  

He leads me by the still still waters.  His goodness restores my soul. 

Chorus: And I will trust in you alone, and I will trust in you alone; 

for your endless mercy follows me, your goodness will lead me home.

He guides my ways in righteousness, and He anoints my head with oil; 

And my cup, it overflows with joy, I feast on His pure delights.

And though I walk in death’s dark path, I will not fear the evil one; 

For you are with me, and your rod and staff are comfort I need to know.

Why is it so easy to listen to Satan?  Why is it so hard to get him out of my mind?

Jesus comes in and tries to overcome these voices.  I try to make his voice louder than Satan’s but sometimes they battle and I go back and forth.  He says, “Trust me.  I know what I’m doing.  I have good plans for you.  I will give you the right roommate.  I will take care of you.  You don’t have to worry about next year – I have it all planned out, all under control.  Don’t you know that I love you to the ends of the earth?  Don’t you know that I care about you so much and want what’s best for you?  This is all in my plan.  This is what is best for you.  Even though you don’t know what the future holds, I do.  Have I not been faithful this year?  And in the past 23 years?  I will be faithful again.  I will provide again.  I will love again.  Trust in me and my plans.  Don’t be discouraged.  Don’t worry.  You are loved.  You have friends.  You are not abandoned.  Do not feel alone, my child.  You are of great worth and I will take care of you and provide for you every day. Trust me.”

(Afterthought: It seems like most of these attacks have been in the past month - right after I made my decision to stay for another year.  I don't think that's a coincidence   Satan obviously doesn't want me to come back next year so he is doing everything to make me discouraged enough to quit.  Too bad for him - Jesus is stronger, he has already won, and he will help me fight this battle the rest of this year... and the next!)

Update

For those of you who don’t know, I have decided to come back and teach for another year, so even though it’s nearing the end of the school year, it’s not the end of my time in Thailand.  I will be home for April, May, and half of June, and then return after my brother’s wedding for another year.  I am looking forward to continuing to deepen my relationships with my students, to continue growing in Christ and to see all that God will do next year.  This year has been challenging and rewarding, hard but good, and even though it’s a little scary to commit to another year after some of the tough things I faced this year, I have a great peace about it and know that God will be with me every step of the way.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love and support.  Each of you mean so much to me and I am so grateful for you.  I know that your prayers, support, encouragement and love have helped carry me through this year.  I am so blessed!  Thank you.

Saved

Over the past few months I have been thinking about what it means to be saved.  Of course the most significant way, and the usually most commonly thought way, is that we are saved from death.  Our salvation keeps us from eternal separation from God and gives us everlasting, eternal life.  But recently I have been realizing that every day I am saved in smaller, yet still wonderful ways. 

I am saved from a life of worry, fear, and anxiety into a life of peace.

I am saved from a life of depression and sadness into a life of joy.

I am saved from a life of hatred, anger and bitterness into a life of love and forgiveness.

I am saved from a life of loneliness into a life of fellowship and comfort.

I am saved from a life of striving into a life of stillness and rest.

I am saved from a life of jealousy and discontent into a life of contentment and thanksgiving.

I am saved from a life of meaninglessness and emptiness into a life of fullness and meaning.

As I think about Christmas I think about how Jesus’ birth allows me to be saved in all of these ways.  Not only did his birth, death, and resurrection provide the way for me to have everlasting life, but it allowed me to have peace, hope, joy, and love from God every single day. 

On a similar note, I’ve been thinking about the name Emmanuel.  It was first brought to my attention by my boss, who talked about its meaning at a staff meeting.  She was talking about how her favorite Christmas carol was O Come O Come Emmanuel.  She talked about how incredible it is that because of Jesus’ coming, we have God with us – Emmanuel.  I was completely struck by the idea that before Jesus’ coming people did not have God present with them all the time.  God interacted with a few people at different times, and the Holy Spirit came on certain people during certain times and for specific tasks, but in general the presence of God was not with all people all the time.  I cannot even imagine what that kind of life would be like.  I guess I have taken for granted the fact that God is with me all the time.  Jesus came to earth and was physically with people and now the Holy Spirit is on all those who believe.  We have God constantly with us and through that we gain such comfort and peace.  Perhaps these past six months make this concept even more important for me. God’s presence has been so important for me these past six months, probably more than any other time in my life.   I have never needed him more or relied on him more for comfort, peace, and friendship.  His presence has been the only thing to get me through this time.  I cannot image what it would be like to live without  that constant presence.  It makes me realize what an incredible thing happened when Jesus came to earth and what an incredible event it was when the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost.  The intimate friendship I have with him, the daily help I receive from his presence, is a gift I don't want to ever take for granted.  We could serve a God who doesn't interact with us at all, but instead we serve a God who loves us sooo much that he became one of us, lived with us, and now lives in us.  He delights in his people and loves to fellowship with them, help them, and be their constant companion.  What a great God to always have by your side!

I'll Be Home For Christmas

I had the wonderful privilege of coming home for Christmas!!  I spent a wonderful week and a half at home visiting family and friends and then three days in Rochester visiting more friends.  It was a wonderful and relaxing break, and so good to see people from back home (and have a little winter!  So good to see some snow!).

Here are some snapshots of my time at home:

1. My dad and silly brother on Christmas morning

2. My dad ringing the bell on a freezing day for the Salvation Army

3. Me on a beautiful snowy walk in Rochester

4. My family at our traditional Christmas breakfast (so yummy!)

5. Me and my younger sister (I can no longer call her my little sister since she towers over me!)
6. Me and Wally shoveling a foot of snow!

7. Me and Mary -in the kitchen as usual :)

8. Making Christmas cookies with the Ryan's - another great tradition :)   

It was soooo good to be home :)

December 31^st I flew back to Thailand (I landed in Thailand on the stroke of midnight of the new year and saw fireworks going off all over the country from the airplane!).  I had one day to recuperate and start getting over jet lag and then got right back into teaching.  We are already starting to wrap up the end of the school year (so crazy!).  There are only 6 weeks of school left and I am only in Thailand for 7 and a half more weeks!  

Christmas program

Wow, it’s been a really long time since I’ve updated my blog! Since I last wrote GES had three nights of Christmas program, I flew home to the States for two weeks, and now I am back into the swing of things, finishing up the school year.  The next few posts will hopefully catch you all up on some of those things!

Christmas program was a great time.  The first night was the kindergarten program, the second night was elementary school, and the last night was middle school and high school.  Each night there were two different parts to the night.  It started with the indoor program, which was planned by the music teacher here.  The kindergartners sang songs with hand motions and costumes, the elementary kids put on a play and each class sang a song, and the middle and high school included performances by the sixth graders, the ukulele class, the chimes class, and the high school choir.

Here are some pictures from the kindergarten night.  I was a class runner so I helped them "off stage" and made sure they were ready when it was their turn.  The class I was in charge of were all sheep, cows, and donkeys and sang a song about what it was like in the stable when Jesus was born.  It was so cute!

The next night was the elementary school program.  It brought tears to my eyes to watch all my students singing about Jesus’ birth and how he came so that we might come to him.  The play was about Christmas ornaments.   In the beginning the ornaments were arguing about which ones were Christmas-y and which ones were not and how some of them didn't fit in.  But then Joseph came out of the box and talked about how all the ornaments are important.  Christmas is not about ornaments and who is Christmas-y or not, it's about the birth of Jesus, who loves all people (or ornaments).  The story of the true meaning of Christmas was presented and they sang about Jesus’ birth.  It was such a wonderful opportunity for us to tell the parents the true story and meaning of Christmas – it is probably our biggest outreach to parents all year and their chance to hear the gospel. 

I also was in charge of a HelpLive table during each night of the Christmas program.  Over the year, GES has been raising money and support for an organization called HelpLive.  This organization serves children in northern Thailand who are refugees from Burma/Myanmar.  These children have no one to help them except for this organization that houses them, feeds them, and teaches them.  However, they need a lot of support and still have very basic living conditions.  GES has been raising money to fulfill their basic needs (such as blankets, food, and school supplies) and also raise money for them to set up coffee stands so that they can become a self-sustaining organization.  Every cup of coffee sold at a stand would provide a meal for a child (right now they only get one or two meals a day).  I had some of my middle school classes create key chains with a HelpLive tag on them and we sold them at the Christmas program as a fundraiser.  We also had pictures drawn by children at HelpLive that we sold.  Our students at GES are all very well off and so we are trying to open their eyes to children who have great physical need, that they are sometimes not aware of.

After the indoor program each night, everyone would go outside and get dinner and eat at tables set up on our soccer field.  A stage was erected and decorated and after dinner, each class sang a Christmas song and performed.  Some of my students also performed a Thai dance.

I really enjoyed Christmas program, even though it was a very busy time!  I helped make and set up a lot of the stage props for the indoor program.  Each day we would set up the props and then the next day we would take them down and put the new ones up (each night was a slightly different Christmas theme).  I was also able to be the accompanist for the high school choir, which I really enjoyed.  It was a lot of work to learn all that music and put it together with the choir, but I enjoyed it a lot (and the reaction of one of my students was priceless: "You play the piano?  But you're the art teacher?!?" ... haha, yes, you can do both!).

Overall, the Christmas program was a great time and it was really special to see my students perform and sing about Jesus’ birth to their parents, family, and friends!