The Very Hungry Caterpillar

In my younger elementary classes we have been making painted papers like Eric Carle.  I showed them a video of Eric Carle making his papers and then we used different objects to decorate our own construction paper.  The second day I read The Very Hungry Caterpillar, then we cut four ovals out of the painted construction paper to make the body of our caterpillar.  Then we glued it on card stock  and added details and background with markers.  Didn't they come out so cute?

p.s. The boy in the first picture with the huge smile is one of my favorite students.  He is always so happy and thinks everything is so exciting and fun.  He is just adorable and I think he did a great job on his caterpillar!  Oh, and the first caterpillar is my example... I think it came out pretty cute :)

Terminal 21

On Monday it was the Queen's birthday so we didn't have school.  Instead, I did some lesson planning in the morning and then in the afternoon my friend Laura and I went into Bangkok to Terminal 21.  Terminal 21 is basically a really big mall but it is unique because each floor is decorated like a different country.  The lights, decorations, statues, and especially bathrooms each represent a specific country.  It's really fun to just walk around and see how each floor is uniquely decorated.  Here are some glimpses of my time there...

p.s.  On Monday I rode a tuk tuk, taxi, subway, and sky train all in one day!  Talk about public transportation!

Mary and Martha

I’ve also been thinking a lot about Mary and Martha.  Martha was so busy doing good things but it caused her to be anxious and upset.  Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and soaked up his presence.  Jesus said that Mary had chosen the better part. 

In the Bible study I attend we have been reading Philippians and in chapter 3 Paul says that all his accomplishments are rubbish.  What he really wants is to know God.  I can get so frantic trying to always do my best.  I want to please God and others and myself and fulfill all my high perfectionist requirements.  This, however, is not what God intended.  He doesn’t want me to be so busy doing good works that I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  There are enough people like that in the world.  God just wants me to sit at his feet, soak up his presence and be with him.  Isn’t the best thing to get to know Christ?

When I think about my friends, I don’t want them to be so busy doing things for me that I don’t get to spend quality time with them.  I just want to sit with them and get to know them, enjoying being in their presence.  And if I think about it, aren’t I most attracted to the Mary’s in my life – people who are calm and have the glow of God because they spend so much time in his presence?  I want to be a Mary that the students at GES can see as someone they can talk to because I’m not so busy.  I want to be someone who has the glow of God because I constantly sit in his presence. 

I never picture Jesus in a hurry.  He was never in a rush to do good things and meet everyone’s expectations.  In fact, most of his miracles were done on the way to places.  He had time to stop and visit with people, to eat dinner and stay at their house.  He had time to talk to people and I picture him being a fairly relaxed person without a lot on his schedule.  He allowed God to direct the events in his life rather than having his daily planner be so full there was no room for God to move him.  When you know really busy people, even if they are busy doing good things, they are not someone you are attracted to go and talk to.  In fact, I think that our good works don’t have as much impact as just being and building relationships do.  People who have time for me, to pour into me and show me God, those are people that have impacted me the most.  I want to do the same for the students here at GES.

God just wants us to sit in his presence.  He wants us to spend time with him, talk to him all the time, and share life with him.  He wants to be our constant companion, the first one we go to, the one we share everything with.  He wants us to sit at his feet, breathe, relax, let go of all our stress and anxiety and rest in his presence, soaking up his love and peace. 

Do You Trust Me?

In the past few days I have been thinking about how much I’ve grown in the last two months.  My perspective, the way I approach life, and my trust in God have all changed.  I was also thinking about college – how much I changed in college but even more, how much I’ve changed and grown since then.  It’s crazy to think how fast life can change.  Just 7 months ago I was graduating from college and had no idea where I was living or what I was going to do with my life.  I had no idea at that point that in 5 months I’d be on a plane to spend a year in Thailand.  As I looked back at my life the lyrics of one of my favorite songs came to mind.  “When the road starts to turn around each bend I’ve learned you are good, so good…”  (You Are Good, by Point of Grace).  So often my life has come to a bend in the road and I didn’t know what was around the corner.  But I have found that around each bend, in each turn, God has been so faithful, always providing my next step.

I am learning to trust in God like never before.  I won’t say it’s easy (because it’s not) and I won’t say it happens all at once (because it doesn’t).  It’s a process but one I am so glad I have started to go through.  It is hard here but I would rather be growing ever closer to God and knowing him more and trusting him more and having to rely on him because I have nothing else, than to live an easy life where I do not need God and do not have a close relationship with him.  Having to rely on him, constantly reaffirm my trust in him, and daily remind myself of his close presence are all things that I would never give up for an easier life that I could   manage on my own.

This morning I woke up feeling anxious about my weekend ahead.  In fact, I wake up most mornings anxious – anxious about my day ahead, what will happen, if I’ll be lonely, stressed, or okay.  But then a question popped into my mind only minutes after waking up.  “Do you trust me?”  I know that God was asking me this question.  Am I going to trust him today?  The next image that popped into my mind was Aladdin, standing on his magic carpet, his hand outstretched to Jasmine, asking if she trusted him enough to come and take a ride.  The analogy is somewhat silly but it is so true.  God is there, holding out his hand for me, and asking me if I trust him enough to take hold of his hand and fly with him through this day.  Do I trust him enough to get me through all the twists and turns life might throw at me?  Do I trust him to steer well and keep me upright?  Do I trust him to provide for all my needs and surprise me with random acts of love?  Do I trust him to get me through all the ups and downs, hold me tight through it all and get safely to the end?

I’ve been reading a new devotional that has triggered a lot of these thoughts – it’s called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  I read a sentence that honestly shocked me.  “I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life.”  In my head I knew this was true but my life did not reflect this knowledge.  I spend so much time and energy trying to make my circumstances perfect.  I try to minimize the problems in my life and make my life more perfect and smooth, with everything going just as it should be.  I suppose that is why this sentence shocked me so much.  I will always have problems - in fact they will probably get harder and more complicated as I get older.  My circumstances will never be perfect and my life will never be smooth.  The solution, I am learning, is to trust God in everything.  So often I base my life, emotions, everything, on my circumstances.  One wrong thing and I’m spiraling down.  The devotional continued, reminding me that while my circumstances may change, God does not.  Instead of grasping to steady myself on my ever-changing circumstances (similar to trying to steady yourself on a flying magic carpet) I need to cling to God, who is firm through it all.  If I focus on God and put all my trust in him, my emotions won’t have to change so drastically with every slight change of the wind.

Some days putting this into practice is harder than others.  Sometimes my day goes fine.  Other days I feel more anxious and I go through my day saying “I trust you.  I trust you.  I trust you.”

And when I put my trust in God, truly allowing him to be God of my life and letting go of the reins, I feel my anxiety melt away and a warm peace fill my soul.  I want more of that – more of that peace.  I hate waking up every morning feeling anxious (and I was reminded recently that this anxiety is not from God), but when I spend time with God, each day redeclaring my trust in him, I feel Him transforming me, changing the way I view the world, and making me more into who he wants me to be.

The world is often like a magic carpet ride.  There are ups and downs and nothing feels solid and all I want is to rest my feet on solid ground and feel secure.  But the world doesn’t offer that does it?  The world is full of problems and changing circumstances and twists and turns and we can’t see around the bend or even the next step forward.  But I am learning each day to trust in God and to know that he is holding onto my right hand, he cares about my every need and will provide for that need, and he will light just enough of my path so that I know where to put my next foot forward.  It is hard but it is keeping me close to him, it is making me squeeze his hand ever tighter and trust him to hold me up.  It is allowing me to feel his love and presence like I have never felt it before, to feel his peace at the most unlikely times and to daily take my anxiety, bring it to God, and respond, “I trust in you.  I trust you to order my day, to provide for all my needs, and to take care of me.  I trust you.”  And finally, it is allowing me to grab hold of his hand, step out on this crazy ride, not be afraid of what will come (for what can happen to me if I am with God?), and to join him in this adventure called life, trying to live it to the full.

I would also recommend the devotional “Jesus Calling” for anyone, especially if you are struggling.  Each devotional is short, but it is like Jesus is talking to you directly and the way that he speaks is so tender and loving.  It has reminded me of God’s tender loving heart and how much he truly does care for us and does not want us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.  He wants us to rest in his presence, be renewed by his love, and just abide with him every day.

Quotes from my devotionals that have triggered these thoughts:

“Keeping your eyes on Me is the same thing as trusting Me.  It is a free choice that you must make thousands of times daily.  The more you choose to trust Me, the easier it becomes.  Thought patterns of trust become etched into your brain. Relegate troubles to the periphery of your mind, so that I can be central in your thoughts.  Thus you focus on Me, entrusting your concerns into My care.”

“I want you to learn a new habit.  Try saying, “I trust You, Jesus” in response to whatever happens to you.  If there is time, think about who I AM in all My Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you.”

“Trust me by relinquishing control into My hands.  Let go, and recognize that I am God.  This is My world: I made it and I control it.  Yours is a responsive part in the litany of Love.”

“It’s all right to be human” – whew!  What a relief!  (I struggle a lot with this - I am a perfectionist and want everything to be perfect - not only my circumstances but everything I do.  It's a good reminder that I am not God, I will never be perfect, and that that's okay!)

Cambodia

Last weekend (August 2-5) I had the privilege of going to Cambodia to visit Chris and Yuko Wilkins, and their boys Caleb and Corey.  I had Thursday and Friday off of school so I flew to Cambodia on Thursday and spent four days with them.  For those of you who don’t know, the Wilkins are the family that I lived with in Rochester this past spring.  They were in America on furlough and I was looking for a place to stay in Rochester by my school after I graduated.  It worked out that they were living in the missionary house that my church owns, which happens to be right across the street from the church and Roberts campus.  There was an extra bedroom so they let me stay with them from January to May.  In May I went home before coming to Thailand and in July they came back to Cambodia.  Anyway, we became like extended family to each other and it was so great to be able to see them after not having seen them for three months.  The flight to Cambodia is only an hour, so it was really convenient. 

It was so nice to get away for a few days, be with people I knew back in the US and to relax.  The boys were so excited to see me and show me around their house and my room (which they lovingly decorated with "Welcome Bekah" signs :)  On Friday we went to a resort where they had a nice swimming pool.  I swam with Corey and Caleb for a bit and we also had lunch there, played games and read.  It was so relaxing.  (And on the way there and back I got to ride in the back of the truck which was so fun.  I’ve always wanted to do that!).  Friday night we went over their neighbor’s house (they came with us to the resort and are also missionaries and really close friends with the Wilkins).  It was really nice to spend time with them too.  On Saturday we spent the morning driving around Cambodia in tuk tuk.  We went to some stores, the Independence monument, the market (where I got two fun T-shirts for $1.50 each), and a restaurant/café called Jars of Clay.  Jars of Clay is a restaurant run by Cambodian women who are saved from sex trafficking or would have gotten into sex trafficking if they didn’t have this other means of making money.  I had a delicious Greek salad there (salads don’t really exist in Thailand so it was nice to have some greens and feel healthy).  Saturday afternoon was really peaceful.  The boys were over a friends house and Chris was at a meeting so I laid on the couch and read for a couple hours while Yuko baked homemade oatmeal cookies.  It was so nice to be with a family, in a home, and relax.  It was also really nice to talk to Yuko about my experiences and how I was doing.  As a fellow missionary far from home she could relate and encourage me.

Sunday we went to one of the main Cambodian churches in Phnom Penh.  It was really neat to be able to see a local church and see some of the ministries that Chris and Yuko oversee.  Sunday afternoon we went home for lunch and games and headed to the airport, where we got some ice cream before I had to board the plane. 

It was really hard to say goodbye.  It had been such a wonderful weekend seeing the Wilkins again, relaxing, being in a home and with a family that I knew and was comfortable with, only to come back to my apartment where I sometimes feel lonely and overwhelmed.  But I am so thankful that they are so close and that I know I can visit them again and it is so easy and quick to get there.  It is so nice to have people I know so close, in the same time zone, and who love me and can encourage me along the way.